I’m supposedly getting married this fall. 

I say supposedly because I’m in the process of wedding planning and I’m already over it.

Weddings are so overwhelming and expensive. Especially for someone as lowkey with a dgaf attitude about the spectacle of it all as me. Maybe I’m just bitter because I wasn’t a Pinterest girlie who made multiple vision boards for her perfect wedding day.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love attending weddings. They’re fun with all the dancing, drinking, eating and merriment that ensues around the bride and groom. They’re beautiful because they’re a grand showcase not only of the love two people share, but of the love that surrounds them from families and friends. And even though I’m baffled that the average cost of a wedding in the US is $29,000 (that’s literally a down payment on a house!), I have to admit that a joyful celebration of love is still something I want.

Not to mention, my pooh-poohing on weddings is coming from a place of trying to plan a wedding within my budget in 8 months, even though I said yes to my fiancé last August. Planning and organizing are not natural qualities of mine, and I get overwhelmed with making decisions when there are so many options. I can say what I like and don’t like, but I don’t have a specific vision for our “big day.”

Honestly, I’d be okay with a ballpark wedding in which our reception is a game of softball with a buffet of beer and brats (including veggie dogs for my vegan friends). Unfortunately, my husband-to-be, who is an umpire, isn’t buying into this idea. And guys say they don’t really want to be part of the planning… 

Another pressure of wedding planning I feel is that I want to make sure people have a good time. A majority of friends and family will be traveling across the country (maybe even across the world) to celebrate with us, and my Leo rising wants to give them a show to remember. 

“If something stresses you out, leave it alone. This should be fun! It’s your wedding!” my cousin told me tonight. “No one is going to remember your decorations.”

Accurate. She got married a couple years ago and I don’t remember any of her decorations or other the details I know she worked hard to put together. I do remember having fun on the dance floor with Lizzo blasting over the speakers, laughing as the “Back That Azz Up” intro started the groom and his mother’s dance, and how beautiful she looked and how happy they were. 

To me, those are the things that really matter. Those are the memories that will impress our guests and stay with us the forever.

So this is me giving myself permission to chill out and not sweat the details I supposedly don’t really care for. Save that effort for the lifetime of marriage.

Besides, I have more important things I’m focused on right now. Like finding a job, saving money for a house, and getting tickets to see Beyonce this summer.

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These awkward selfie photoshoots are so dumb and fun, I’m can’t deal with myself.